The FBI has charged Daejon Love after he allegedly pretended to be a 49ers receiver. Although football isn’t as glamorous as it looks, it easy to see the attraction

Is romance dead? Yeah, probably. There have never been more options for finding a mate – dating apps, Instagram DM slides, hanging out next to a gas station at 2am – but it’s also never been harder. Meeting someone who is compatible, stable, and even remotely attractive is akin to putting a square peg in a round hole. Blindfolded. From a mile away. Underwater. So, I can’t blame anyone for falling for an elaborate hoax like the one allegedly perpetrated by Daejon Love.

Love is now infamous around the world for allegedly posing as an NFL player in order to scam more than 20 women out of $1.3m. Now that Love and his alleged accomplice, Taylor Jamie Chen, have been charged by federal authorities, prosecutors are claiming they are a flight risk. They certainly seem like they have the money to flee the country. According to court documents, Love managed to fabricate an entire online persona as a San Francisco 49ers player – posting photos and videos in Niners gear, posing with expensive cars, and even performing football drills (badly) to bolster the alleged grift. Love allegedly used AI to trick search engine results to add credibility to his claims on football success with the 49ers. There’s even a video of Love running wide receiver routes on the beach. In a helmet. Do real NFL players carry their helmets in the car, just in case? You never know when you may risk a concussion while laying in the sand.

The move sends the right signal. While we’re at it, can we ban using ringtones and scooting on the sidewalk?

Imagine driving in Italy, with its narrow, cobblestone streets and scooter enthusiasts. I find it hard enough to drive in Los Angeles, a city designed specifically with the automobile in mind. I’d probably squash a pedestrian or two trying to navigate Italian roads.

The modern world is just too hectic for the ancient streets of Europe, so Italy is considering doing the only sensible thing it can: outlawing texting in crosswalks. The Italian government’s updated draft of its highway code proposes fines of €75 or more for anyone caught sending a DM, updating their LinkedIn, finishing Wordle on the fifth guess, or anything else phone-related that might make them miss an oncoming metal projectile. I’m sure most people will risk the slap on the wrist to get that message off, but it at least sends a signal to the Italian people that paying attention to traffic is actually kind of important.

Dave Schilling is a Los Angeles-based writer and humorist

The WNBA has attracted grifters who care little for basketball – and whose latest stunt exposes the hollowness of their supposed concern

I regret to inform you that yet another dildo has hit a WNBA court. The Chicago Sky v Golden State Valkyries game was sullied by sex toys being chucked on to the playing surface on Friday. Aren’t we tired of all this yet? To paraphrase the Sky’s Natasha Cloud, it takes a lot of effort to bother with such a juvenile act.

This is yet another controversy for the WNBA, a league that up until a few years ago, most media observers ignored. The WNBA is full of incredibly talented players and has a rich history, but most sports fans treated all but ignored it for the majority of its 30-year existence. But when Caitlin Clark went pro, the league surged. Ratings, attendance, and interest exploded. But not all attention is good attention.

Capitalism and the climate crisis are conspiring to destroy the concept of seasons. I’ll take solace in my pumpkin spice

Happy spooky season, everyone! Get those jack-o’-lanterns out, because Halloween is just around the corner!

Just kidding, no, it’s not.

I understand gen Z’s concerns about the cost of romance. But anything can be a date if you want it to be

A couple of months ago, I wrote a column imploring young people to keep trying to find love, to not become cynical about romance and avoid the temptation of the accursed “loneliness influencers” peddling antisocial behavior as some sort of newfangled experiment that no one had thought of before. I stand here today saying, hey, I can’t be right all the time. Maybe it is better to be alone, since it costs a hell of a lot less.

Apparently, young people across the country are forgoing dating because it’s too damn expensive. Or at least, I think they are, based on the multiple newspaper articles saying so that came out in the last two weeks. As the New York Times put it, the “prospect of a tab of $150 or more for two entrées, two drinks, an appetizer and tip” is too pricey for many gen Z singles. I say, only $150? Where are you going, Chili’s? I went on a date with (shameful brag incoming) a very famous political figure from the late 90s and spent twice that amount, sending my bank account into cardiac arrest. I practically begged her to get dessert, even though it was clear our decade of age difference and general lack of chemistry meant I was better off going home and journaling about it. I paid for the whole thing, and in return, I got an amazing story to tell at parties.