The once-bearded New York mayor has downsized his facial hair. Does it work?

I’ve battled with facial hair almost my entire adult life.

I started growing it early, turning me into a pubescent villain from a spaghetti western. I was told by my parents not to shave it off, lest it grow back more furious than before. I just had to walk around high school looking like a hungover bond trader, which did nothing for my popularity.

Dave Schilling is a Los Angeles-based writer and humorist

A decade of political misery does terrible things to the mind. Tuesday’s wins came with a sense of unreality

Late on Tuesday night, the comedian Alex Edelman asked a poignant question on social media: “I know we’ve never had to ask this before tonight, but what’s the opposite of doomscrolling?”

I don’t have a definitive answer to that, though I did offer the term “boomscrolling”, accompanied by a gif of the social media sensation and Costco enthusiast Big Boom AJ.

In a downpour against the Atlanta Falcons, Tampa Bay decided throwing was for losers. They were proved right

I don’t think I’m being cheeky when I say that passing is the most exciting part of football. A solid hit is nice, and a big run can thrill you, but this is a quarterback-centric game. When a QB is bad, teams usually lose and fans get bored. So, Sunday’s performance by Baker Mayfield and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers had me positively gobsmacked. I wouldn’t say their 16-0 win over the Atlanta Falcons was thrill-a-minute, but it certainly was historic. By completing a grand total of zero passes out of a paltry three attempts, Baker Mayfield led the Bucs to the first game with no passing offense since the Buffalo Bills beat the New York Jets 16-12 on 29 September 1974. If you are miraculously old enough to remember the NFL before the advent of the forward pass in 1906, first off, congratulations on being over 120 years of age. Please email me your full diet and exercise regimen. You’re probably on your feet (if standing is still something physically possible), cheering a bit of hard-nosed, classic football. The rest of us young whippersnappers still grinding through our first century are holding our noses.

Of course, Mayfield – a former No 1 overall pick – can throw. As recently as 2024 he threw for 41 touchdowns and 4,500 passing yards in a season. But Sunday’s game was played in pouring rain that led to farcical moments like this, and Tampa Bay clearly decided that the ground game was the only way to go. That the Bucs could score at all, let alone 16 points, is a credit to Bucky Irving and Kenneth Gainwell running as though their lives depended on it. Irving finished the day with 170 rushing yards and one touchdown, while Gainwell had 140. Combined with Mayfield, they rushed 56 times for 324 yards – the most ever in a single game for the Bucs. They more than made up for Mayfield’s borderline irrelevance in the pocket. Mayfield made himself useful blocking for his runners, but otherwise, I probably could have started at QB for the Buccaneers and the game would have been the same, other than the high likelihood of me suffering at least one gruesome injury.

From the cheesecake factory discourse to the double Dan Sullivans, campaign season has been ridiculous

Chances are, as you’re reading this, your bunker is fully stocked, your doors are locked, and you’re peeking at your computer screen through gaps between your fingers.

After all, it’s election day on Tuesday. Once again, democracy will be tested – like Beavis & Butthead taking the SATs. I’m not looking forward to it, and I’m sure you aren’t either.

Dave Schilling is a Los Angeles-based writer and humorist