Marriage offers an opportunity to ask for help creating a home. But what about when the marriage ends – and the household with it?

It’s peak wedding season, and my own divorce is waiting on a judge’s signature. People are being congratulated with Dutch ovens and serving bowls for dinner parties they may not ever host.

Marriage comes with an etiquette system for asking people to help build a home. The registry says the embarrassing part for you. Divorce deserves the same grace.

We are now a nation of homogenized open concepts and curb appeal. It’s an approach that leads to anxiety and isolation

Recently, Jonathan Swan – one of the authors of a new tell-all about Donald Trump’s second term – told the hosts of The View that if you had a pie chart of Trump’s mind, “a pretty substantial slice is devoted to interior decorating”. He also revealed that Trump is engaged in “design wars” with Melania and moved furniture she had selected into his spaces. The commander-in-chief apparently has even been caught supergluing gilded accents to the Oval Office mantel himself. Though Trump claims taxpayers won’t be on the hook for the costs of his renovations, the New York Times reported that the White House’s 18 major remodeling projects – from the botched Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool to the paved-over Rose Garden to the looming “Arc de Trump” – will probably come with a price tag of $1.2bn.

Of course, Trump’s renovation compulsion didn’t start this year. The president celebrated winning his first term, in 2017, by ripping out the Oval Office’s royal blue carpet with the presidential seal and replacing it with a Mar-a-Lago peach version, accented with – what else? – gold. But in his second term, he’s gotten bolder, both politically and aesthetically – and more addicted. By the autumn of his first year back in office, he went ahead and tore down the East Wing entirely.